Do We Realize?

Do We Realize?.

α ραтн σƒ ρяα¢тι¢αℓιту

“Indeed, successful is the one that purifies it. And Indeed, failed is the one that neglects it” Surah: Al Shams, Verse: 9-10

A Path of Practicality
Salamu Alaykom wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Allah,
Subhanah wa ta’ala says:
“Indeed, successful is the one that purifies
it. And Indeed, failed is the one that neglects it”
Surah: Al Shams, Verse: 9-10

We learn a lot of things from this ayah.
But first. What is the meaning of success ?

There are 11 ayahs in which Allah uses the term
“moflihoon” –> “successful ones”

In one of these ayahs Allah says:
“And let there be from amongst you a community
of people who invite for all that is good. Enjoining
what is good and forbidding what is evil.
And they are the successful ones”
Surah: Aal-e-Imran, verse: 104

“And those that follow the messenger, the illiterate
prophet that they find written with them in the
Torah and the Bible… who… and lift from them
their burdens and the shackles that were upon
them… they are the successful ones”
Surah Al-A’raf: verse 157
(it’s a long verse, so I quoted the parts relevant
to the point I will be making)

“Whosoever’s righteous deeds are heavy in the
balance, it is they who are the successful ones”
Surah Al Mo’minoon, verse: 102

So tazkiyah causes success.

And success is for those that call to ALL of
what is good and call against ALL of what is
bad. That’s a very comprehensive religion/deen
that we have there !

And so tazkiyah is anything that you do with
the intention of making you able to do ALL of
those good things and stay away from ALL of
those bad things. All with the intention for Allah.

Anything that stops success is not tazkiyah and needs
to be purified/extracted from your self.
(read: do tazkiyah on those things getting in the
way of success)

And this is a general principle because we know
that a muslim is required to be strong and that
we are rewarded for doing anything that is not haram
so long as our intention is for Allah.

So the doors of success in dunya can align with
the doors of success in the hereafter. So long
as they are not haram.

This is tazkiyah. It is the process of streamlining
all those bits out of the way so you can get
to success easier.

вє тнє ρєяѕση уσυ ωαηт уσυя ѕρσυѕє тσ вє

Be the person you want your spouse to be:

pray
fear Allah
lower your gaze
don’t talk to the opposite sex
have sabr
be modest
maintain consistency
don’t backbite
stay away from arrogance
gain ilm
do not speak unnecessarily 
be humble
maintain proper adab
speak with knowledge
be just
know your obligations 
do everything for the sake of Allah

Wanted to draw out a list of this sort, but she first me to it, sister, wherever you may be, hope my little dua reaches you “jazakhillah khairan”.

So yes, back to the topic ‘be the person you want your spouse to be’; a lot of times we find ourselves describing the type of spouse we would like to marry “he/she will be this, will be that, will be perfect” this list never ends. True, each one of us dream of finding our soul mate, someone if not perfect, almost, one who would turn mere dreams into reality. We tend to think so much in this direction and most a times completely forget we also need to work on ourselves to be someone’s perfect spouse too.

“Bad women are for bad men (or bad statement are for bad people) and bad men are for bad women (or bad statement are for bad people). Good women are for good men (or good statements are for good people) and good men are for good women (or good people for good statements)…..[24:26]

In the above Qur’anic verse, (one of my favourite actually, ‘the qur’an is perfect yeah’ !), Allah(swt) explains to us how it works. Its a mutual thing.
To get the perfect man, you’ll also have to be the perfect woman and vice-versa.

Think about it. Let’s all be open-minded and ask ourselves this question; “are we the ideal wife/husband for someone?
Its a yes or no question (and I hope its a ‘no’ for everyone because we are only humans, we err, lol). But what we have to do now is “try our best” and inshaAllah we’ll be rewarded with someone that is also trying as the Qur’anic verse implies.

To the sisters, i am sure we all are not interested in the showing-off type of men of today, seizing every opportunity to flaunt luxurious food, home and more, but….its a mutual thing remember? If we ourselves aren’t simple, or at least trying to be, then we shouldn’t expect any better. We can’t talk of designer everything, from body accessories to house hold items and expect any better from them. Every party has its own form of bragging, so don’t be taken by surprised. Simplicity is the key; if nurtured in each one of us, has the ability to cure all of life’s problems.

Like wise, we all want practicing spouses, who are patient and lower their gaze, don’t talk unnecessarily to the opposite sex, as well as act according to the Qur’an and sunnah so as to lead us to jannah, and much more but in reality we ourselves possess very few of such qualities.

Forgive my blabbing, in essence, what am trying to say is: be good, try and be better, strive and be the best! In shaa Allah, Allah (swt) will reward us with the best.

Lastly: I know we’ve all heard or experienced one or two cases in which a good person is married to a bad person right? Usually very sad wallah. It might just be their test and in shaa Allah a bountiful reward awaits them, on that day of reckoning.

May Allah bless us all with righteous spouses, ameen.

‫ربنا هب لنا من اذوا جنا وزيا تنا قرة اعين واجعلنا للمتقين اماما ‬

тнє вєѕт σƒ уσυ…

100 Hadiths(coming up) About Being the Best!
Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told us:

1. “The best of the Muslims is he from whose hand and tongue the Muslims are safe.” (Muslim)

2. “The best of people are those with the most excellent character.” (Tabarani, Sahih)

3. “The best of people are those that bring most benefit to the rest of mankind.” (Daraqutni, Hasan)

4. “The best of people are those who are best in fulfilling (rights).” (Ibn Majah, Sahih)

5. “The best of people during fitnah is a man who takes up the reins of his horse pursuing the enemies of Allah, causing them fear yet they make him fearful too, or a man who secludes himself in the desert fulfilling the rights of Allah upon him.” (Hakim, Sahih)

6. “The best of mankind is my generation, then those that follow them and then those that follow them. Then there shall come a people after them who will become avaricious, who will love gluttony, and who will give witness before they are asked for it.” (Tirmidhi, Sahih)

7. “The best of people are those who live longest and excel in their deeds, whereas the worst of people are those who live longest and corrupt their deeds.” (Tirmidhi, Sahih)

8. “The best of women are those that please him (her husband) when he sees her, obeys him when she is commanded, and who does not secretly betray him with regards to herself and her money in that which he dislikes.” (Ahmad, Sahih)

9. “The best of women are those that please you when you see them, obey you when commanded, and who safeguard themselves and your money in your absence.” (Tabarani, Sahih)

10. “The best of marriages are the easiest ones.” (Abu Dawud, Sahih)

11. “The best of your dates is the Borniyyu date; it expels disease yet does not contain any disease itself.” (Hakim, Hasan)

12. “The best of your garments are those which are white; shroud your dead in them and clothe your living with them. The best of that which you apply to your eyelids is antimony causing the eyelashes to grow and sharpening the eyesight.” (Ibn Hibban, Sahih)

13. “The best quality of your religion is scrupulousness.” (Hakim, Sahih)

14. “The best of your religion is that which is easiest.” (Ahmad, Sahih)

15. “The best of the prayer lines for men are the first rows, the worst being the final rows. The best of the prayer lines for women are the final rows and the worst are the first rows.” (Muslim)

16. “The best prayers for women are those performed in the most secluded parts of their houses.” (Ibn Khuzaymah, Sahih)

17. “The best of you in Islam are those who are most excellent in character as long as you deeply understand the religion.” (Ahmad, Sahih)

18. “The best of you are the best of you in fulfilling (rights).” (Ahmad, Sahih)

19. “The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.” (Tirmidhi, Sahih)

20. “The best of you are my generation, then those that follow them and then those that follow them. Then there shall come after them a people who will betray and be untrustworthy, will give witness even though they have not been asked to, will make vows yet will not fulfil them and obesity will appear amongst them.” (Bukhari)

21. “The best of you are those who feed others and return greetings.” (Abu Ya?la, Hasan)

22. “The best of you is he from whom good is anticipated and safety from his evil is assured; the worst of you is he from whom nothing good is expected and one is not safe from his evil.” (Tirmidhi, Sahih)

23. “The best thing mankind has been given is excellent character.” (Hakim, Sahih)

24. “The best of that which you treat yourself with is cupping.” (Hakim, Sahih)

25. “The best of journeys undertaken are to this Mosque of mine and the Ancient House.” (Ahmad, Sahih)

26. “The best of which man can leave behind for himself are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, an ongoing charity whose reward continues to reach him and knowledge which others benefit from after him.” (Ibn Hibban, Hasan)

27. “The best Mosques for women are the most secluded parts of their houses.” (Bayhaqi, Sahih)

28. “The best of the world’s women are four: Maryum bint ?Imran, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, Fatimah bint Muhammad and Asiyah the wife of Fir?awn.” (Ahmad, Sahih)

29. “The best of days that you should perform cupping are the 17th, 19th and 21st of the month. I did not pass a single gathering of angels on the night of Isra’ except that they would say to me, ‘O Muhammad, perform cupping!’” (Ahmad, Sahih)

30. “The best day on which the Sun has risen is Friday; on it Adam was created, on it Adam was made to enter Paradise and on it he was expelled. The Hour will not be established except on Friday.” (Muslim)

αяє ωє ιη ℓσνє ωιтн ℓσνє?

Are We in Love with Love?

By Andrea Umm Abdullah . Posted in Being a Pious Wife

THE more I read and talk to people, the more I think we are in love with love. Now don’t get me wrong – love is nice. Love is beautiful. Love is sweet.

And I love a cute love story just as much as other people. Girl wants to marry guy but he’s not interested. She’s heartbroken but then she realizes he wasn’t the right one for her and she marries someone better. Happily ever after, right?

I told a friend that it seems that people put so much energy, time, and effort into the wedding but not the marriage, and they focus on having the babies but not raising them. There’s this desire to have the wonderful wedding, the wonderful guy, and the wonderful family, but then what? And where does Deen fit in?

Sooner or later in marriage, most likely during those times when you feel like you’ve had more downs than ups, you start to feel like love isn’t enough.

Love doesn’t equal dreamy happiness and love doesn’t solve all the problems.

Love can be directed to different things and different people. We can do a lot in the name of love. But when we do things purely for the sake of love itself, and not out of love for Allah and trying to earn His pleasure, there will be many problems.

We should be getting married for the sake of Allah, and if things get to the point of divorce, we should separate for the sake of Allah. Not marry and divorce solely for the sake of love, or lack of it. And since we are on the topic of love and marriage, where in Islam does it say that being in love is a requirement?

Allah says, {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.} (Qur’an, 30:21)

This isn’t the same as the obsessive, consuming desire we see or read about. This isn’t the “crazy in love” stuff or the “I’ll do anything for you” love. This is a calm, moderate, purposeful love.

Have you ever had your spouse do something so nice, so extra loving? And then it seems like all the sadness, anger, or resentment and disappointment fades away? And everything seems okay after all? Or even with your kids…all of a sudden they will clean up without being asked, listen without having to be told twice, or show unexpected affection, and it seems like the world is great.

On the other hand, when your spouse makes you furious, when the kids are on their worst behavior, and when the house is a mess…how quickly everything seems to go wrong. When everything is based on love, and then something happens when it’s taken out of the equation, you are left with nothing.

This happens when we become too attached to “love” and “good times”, when our world seems to turn upside down when we don’t have either one. It hurts.

And I think this is because we love “love and happiness” and fairy tale ideals. But then again who doesn’t love these things? We all enjoy good times and ease. No one wants hardship or a cold marriage. But I think this focus on romance is a distraction from Shaitan. We get so caught up with being in love that when things go wrong (and they will because this is the dunya), couples want to separate or divorce. Couples want to give up. They think the relationship is hopeless because “the love isn’t there anymore”.

Some people think that love makes the marriage. They think if they aren’t holding hands while taking long walks in the park or staring at each other over candlelight and roses, something is wrong. I knew a young woman who felt that something was missing because her husband hadn’t fallen head over heels for her.

I read a question online recently. “What if God designed Marriage to make us Holy instead of Happy?”

This is something to consider. Perhaps Allah gave us marriage as a means to draw closer to Him, not to the dunya.

Your spouse is supposed to help you get closer to Allah, and marriage teaches you things about yourself you otherwise would not have learned. And that’s what marriage is about.

Marriage isn’t supposed to be this super relationship where you love your spouse more than you love yourself. Sometimes we think our spouse is supposed to do anything and everything for us, because they “love” us. And vice versa… we feel so “in love” that we would do almost anything to keep our spouse pleased. And we feel upset when we don’t get that level of devotion in return. But the only One we need to love unconditionally is Allah, and then His messenger (peace be upon him). Not yourself or your desires. Not your spouse, and not even your children.

Allah says, “Say [O Muhammad, peace be upon him], if your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained, commerce wherein you fear decline, and dwellings with which you are pleased are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and Jihaad [i.e., fighting] in His cause, then wait until Allah executes His command.” (Qur’an, 9:24)

Allah also says, “Yet, there are those who chose to worship others beside Allah as rivals to Him, loving them as they should love Allah, but the believers have greater love for Allah.” (Qur’an 2:165)

And

‘Abdullah Ibn Hishaam, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “We were with the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) as he was holding ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, by his hand. ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said to the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam): “You are more beloved to me than everything except myself.” The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) replied: “No O ‘Umar! I swear by Him in whose hand is my soul, [you will not truly believe] until I become more beloved to you than your own self.” Thereupon, ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “I swear by Allah that you are now more beloved to me than myself.” The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) replied: “Now! O ‘Umar (i.e., now your faith is complete).” (Al-Bukhari).

Allah says, “The Prophet is more worthy of the believers than themselves.” (Qur’an, 33: 6).

Look what happens when we love Allah and His messenger (peace be upon him) – Anas bin Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, said that a man asked the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam): “When will the (last) hour come?” He (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) replied: “What have you done to prepare for it?” The man replied: “Nothing, except the love I have for Allah and His Messenger.” The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) replied: “You will be (on the Day of Judgment) with those whom you love.” (Al-Bukhari).

Anas Ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: “One who attains the following three things will taste the sweetness of faith: to make Allah and His Messenger more beloved to himself than anything else, to love a person for no other reason except for the sake of Allah, and to hate to return to disbelief just as much as he would hate to be thrown into fire.” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim and others).

So when we do things out of love, let’s do it because we love Allah and His messenger (peace be upon him)—and because our love for each other stems from this greater love. Let our love for Allah be the base and the reason for our actions and In-shaa’-Allah we will earn Allah’s reward and mercy.

In this way, we will attain a greater happiness—in this world and the Hereafter, more than could be gained through “loving love.”

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“You must be willing to change. You must be willing to break the deal you made with the devils within. You must be willing to leave the past and not be tempted to rebound when times are tough. You must be willing to let go of everything and anyone that takes you back to your sins. You must be willing to have hope. You must be willing to have hope that you can change and that you will and that you will be better. You must believe you are worthy of change and you are worthy of improvement and you are worthy of being the best. You must be willing to set aside your negative notions about life, about hardships, about people, about things, about yourself. You must be willing to stop feeling sorry for yourself while looking at the world move around you. Get up and make something of yourself.”
—Imam Ibn Qayyim Al jawzyyah

Powerful lessons

Powerful Lessons
Salamu Alaykom wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

I know you’re eager. So lets just dive
into the lessons.

The obvious one:
He gave from that which he loves.

How many people can do that ?
And how many people would feel too bad
for giving away something that their beloved
wife slaved away at for months ?

But he understands and so does she.

It’s not about this life.
She understands that he is only giving it
BECAUSE it’s what he loves best. Not
because he doesn’t like it.

And he is giving it away because he
wants the highest of places in paradise. He
knows that his wife will be with him,
insha Allah.

Another lesson:
She buys it back. Even though it was
hers in the first place.

What a beautiful example of giving.

There are many other lessons that I’m sure
you can get for yourself from this story.

But there’s one lesson that for me
is just pure dynamite.

But first.
Do you remember that email that I got ?

She continues to say that she didn’t
‘do’ tazkiyah with the intention of overcoming
her eating disorder:

“… – it was more of a subconscious effect that
I only became aware of after I had
changed certain mindsets and
developed new habits.”

On that note, a significant number of people
have asked about joining the program.
I launched it in
Ramadan of 2011 and alhamdu lilah,
it’s been a very fruitful and rewarding experience.

We had to shut the doors to new delegates
though, because we wanted to make sure that
we could answer questions and support the
delegates who did sign up.

We’re not after quantity. Quality is where it’s
at. So the doors for new registration are currently
closed. You’re in our newsletter list though, so
I’ll be sure to inform you when we do open the
doors again, insha Allah.

In the Quran, Allah always draws examples for us of
plants and trees. Why ?

Because we plant the seeds. A good word.
A small sincere action.

Even a sincere intention with no action.

And Allah takes that and multiplies it. So
the sister didn’t intend to get over her eating
disorder. She had given up trying.

But her sincerity in wanting to become a
stronger Muslim. That’s what led to this
gift from Allah. The gift she shared with me
by telling me.

I’ll tell you the most important lesson from
the story about Abdullah ibn Umar (RA)
tomorrow,
insha Allah.

Before I go, if you’re benefiting from these
emails, please share some of the lessons
with friends through email, facebook, twitter
etc.

Though the doors to new registration are closed,
we will always, insha Allah, have the free
tazkiyah consultation available so that people
can always benefit.

It’s the least we can do and it’s our honour.

Salamu Alaykom wa Rahmatullah,
AbdelRahman Mussa

PS:
“The Mechanics of Difficulty”
– watch it. Not so that you can generate
difficulty ! But so that you learn what not
to do.

It’s important that you do so before tomorrow
if possible insha Allah.

Here’s the link again:
“The Mechanics of Difficulty”

If for some reason, the link doesn’t
work, just copy and paste:

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